One year ago, I retired from my job of thirty years.
My husband’s physical and mental health had been declining for almost two years – which I talked about here . . . and my official retirement announcement summarized my reasons and new plans.
But, as the anniversary of this milestone turned over this week, I find myself reviewing the developments of the year and considering God’s faithfulness to us.
CALEB’S HEALTH
One year ago, Caleb struggled to swallow solid food without choking. He had consulted a gastroenterologist as well as an ear, nose, and throat doctor. Many tests ruled out cancer and just about any physical cause of the swallowing problem.
We held out hope for the neurologist to find some cause (and hopefully solution), but after two neurologists and another battery of tests, we did not even receive the courtesy of a follow-up visit for the results. A year into the investigation, the stumped specialists showed little interest in a diagnosis.
Finally, Caleb’s psychiatrist at V.A. submitted a request for him see a V.A. neurologist. He assured us V.A. was thriving under President Obama.
Caleb had put his toe in the V.A. medical care water several years before. Unimpressed, we never considered the option again. However, sitting at a dead-end, Caleb decided it couldn’t hurt to let V.A. give it a try.
One year ago, the V.A. investigation had just begun . . . and the medical staff at V.A. took up the challenge with determination.
Their inquiry eventually led to the Speech Pathology Department in Palo Alto – and a team of doctors watching Caleb swallow on a type of live action x-ray machine. And the reasons for his swallowing difficulties became clear.
The problem was two-fold, and easily rectified. First, for an unknown reason certain types of foods left particles just below the point of gag-reflex. After several bites, the particle build-up activated the gag-reflex – simply solved by swallowing each bite twice, followed by a liquid. And second, he had developed an inefficient swallowing style, probably after getting dentures. A few sessions with a speech therapist corrected this as well.
The swallowing solution seemed a bit anti-climactic . . . a high-tech diagnosis with a low-tech treatment. But the years of difficulty had resulted in malnourishment, which turned out to be the underlying cause of some of Caleb’s other symptoms.
Over the past year, the VA Palo Alto Health Care System solved Caleb’s swallowing issue, traced many “neurological” symptoms to a medication side-effect (solved with a change), started him on physical therapy and monthly injections to reduce pain and recover from malnutrition, and provided hearing aids (this reduced conflict more than you might imagine).
And last month Caleb started a PTSD treatment program . . . finally!
In a way, I feel like this is thirty years too late. But, of course, it’s never too late. I am so grateful for everything the VA Health Care System has done for Caleb and me this past year, and for what it continues to provide.
FINANCES
One year ago, our family did not have a long-term means of support.
Caleb had applied for disability compensation from V.A., but we did not know if and/or when it would be approved. Online horror stories about many years of battle for compensation did not encourage. I had a small retirement fund which would last 12 – 18 months. Statistics for start-up businesses becoming profitable within a year are low . . . also not encouraging.
Although I had a plan, I did not really know how our family would survive my retirement. I only knew for sure that retirement was necessary.
During the first few months of retirement I found we did not qualify for low-cost health insurance (hefty unexpected price-tag) nor any program by which I could be paid as my husband’s care-giver. Also during those first few months both cars required new brakes, new tires (8 in all), and new batteries. And our dog decided to help out with a costly a trip to the pet E.R!
From time-to-time I caught a glimpse of impending doom and started to panic . . . but I had not retired on a fleeting whim. Each time I looked at the waves and started to sink I was reminded to return my gaze to the face of Christ, the One who told me to step out of the boat and the One who promised to keep me safe.
Finally, the day arrived . . . another anti-climactic event. My morning bank balance phone notification showed a higher balance than expected. I logged into online banking to find a deposit labeled “VA BENEF”. From the amount, I deduced Caleb had received a partial disability rating . . . helpful, but not enough to support the family. A letter arrived a few days later, confirming the rating – but stating employability was still under review.
About six weeks later, another deposit showed up, followed by another letter. In the end, V.A. rated Caleb 100% unemployable. To be clear, Caleb does not love being labeled “unemployable”, but is glad to support his family, if only by his past sacrifices.
As I reflect on this past year, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for all God has done. Caleb is not exactly the picture of health, and our budget still lacks wiggle room, but God displayed His power and care for us this year – reinforcing my peace and confidence in our place in the palm of His hands. Life can be challenging, but never defeating.
Psalm 23:4; Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
